FatherSon Ventures

Building a Relationship through Adventure

Ruined Play Date

Written By: Scot Butwell - Mar• 01•15

bri

(Note: The picture taken for this post was taken at D’s birthday party, not at the actual play date.)

“You ruined D’s play date,” L tells me in the car after D’s play date.

“How did I ruin his play date?”

“Yes, you ruined his play date.”

D and his friend B went to the park and, by all intents and purposes, it was a successful play date. The moms talked, I played with the kids.

It has taken me a wee to come to this conclusion, but the Wife is right.  D needs space to learn to initiate and respond to social cues without me being the larger-than-life presence at the center of his play date.

I don’t think I “ruined” his play date. D had fun hanging out at the park with his friend.

Now, if I can only help the Wife to understand her tone makes it difficult to hear whatever she says to me. As I’ve told her a thousand times: It’s not what she says, but how she says it.

That’s what bothers me.

When speaks with a harsh tone, it’s hard to separate her point from the emotion, and her perceptions are usually distorted, like her opinion that I ruined the play date.

No, I didn’t “ruin” the play date. I agree D needs space to play with his friends to have back-and-forth exchanges on his own, and I plan to take a back seat at his next play date.

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