FatherSon Ventures

Building a Relationship through Adventure

All-Star Sports: Day Four

Written By: Scot Butwell - Jul• 18•13

Dom balls best

There is a very fine line between frustration and disappointment. This is what I learned today in D’s All-Star Sports class, and I thought he was the one who is supposed to be learning.

There were positive achievements. D coordinated his limbs to bump and spike a volleyball, and never having been good at volleyball, I don’t want to devalue these accomplishment at all.

However, D and I played a game of cat-and-mouse game for almost his entire class–a repeat of Day Two of his All-Star sports class–when I learned how little control I have over D.

Nothing I tried to make him stay with his class worked. And if there was a silver lining to be found, I couldn’t find one–so frustrated was I from playing cat-and-mouse for three hours.

Normally, I am a glass half-full type of person who can find a positive in the most bleakest of situations, but by the end of D’s class, all I could see were the negatives. No positives existed.

dom spike

I kept trying to get D to stay with his class, but every time he returned to his class, he would run off again after a few minutes. Later that night, I read these words by Ralph Marston:

“In ways large and small, life can often be disappointing. Yet in every case, you don’t have to let disappointing events keep you discouraged.”

And I needed to hear this:

“In each disappointment, there is a priceless gift. That gift is the opportunity you get to become more determined and purposeful and positively motivated.”

Dom vball

And I needed this too:

“For as disappointing as life can be, there is always something positive you can do. What you can do next is what truly matters, and you can choose a positive step no matter what.”

This is what I learned today: there is always a positive next step I can take in every situation. And what I do next is what truly matters and, yes, I must choose to take a positive step.

I may not know what my next step is, and sometimes have to look hard to find it, but I found my next step a few hours later as I was looking at pictures of D from his All-Star Sports class.

One picture showed D sitting on dolly and tracking a balloon with his eyes as his partner clasped his hands together ready to hit the balloon. The two four-year-olds were in perfect harmony.

But my favorite picture was of D laying in the ball pit, holding a yellow and white volleyball and surrounded by bright colored balls while having the cheesiest “I gotcha you, dad” smile.

He had run off from his class and succeeded in getting me to chase him, yet in looking closely at the picture I noticef a different perception than I had when it this moment happened.

His smile said, “I gotcha dad.” And it also said, “I love you, dad.”

This is when I knew what my next positive step would be: to keep on loving my son, being more determined and purposeful in my parenting, and positively motivated to support him.

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