FatherSon Ventures

Building a Relationship through Adventure

Sea Aire Golf Course

Written By: Scot Butwell - May• 28•13

best golf

It’s a Sunday afternoon, and D and I are on a pitch-and-putt golf course (average distance per hole: 80 yards), and I’ve decided to apply Wes Moss’s principles for entrepreneurial success to golfing with D because they fit:

Practice the learned trait of optimism.

Define a vision.

Mentally bypass the multitude of things that can go wrong.

Focus on your own personal, all-important vision.

Our last golf outing was at a glow-in-the-dark miniature golf course with freaky neon creatures on the wall. Sometimes, I guess you have say, “What the heck!” This is how we ended up on the pitch-and-putt course.

Moss is the author of Starting from Scratch, and his book is one of many L buys on being an entrepreneur. And I happened to pick up it and see similarities between parenting and starting your own business.

Practice the learned trait of optimism: D may be more inclined to play in the sand dune than to hit his ball out of it, but it’s a sunny day for D’s first time being out on a golf course, and no matter what happens, I will think only positive thoughts.

A few weeks ago, I signed D up for a week-long All-Star sports class at My Gym, and during the third day, we played a game of cat-and-mouse for most of the three-hour class.

Nothing I tried to make him stay with his class worked, and if there was a silver lining to be found, I couldn’t find one–so frustrated was I from him running off from his class.

Normally, I am a glass half-full type of person who can find a positive in the most bleakest of situations, but by the end of D’s class, all I could see were the negatives.

So, today, I plan to practice the learned trait of optimism–meaning I will think only positive thoughts.

Define a vision: Hit his ball off the tee together and let him take over the short game. We’re here to have fun and complete the course. Everything else, a bogey, making par, a hole-in-one, is secondary to having fun.

golf sea aireMentally bypass the multitude of things that can go wrong: That huge pile of sand near the first hole? Don’t worry when D sits on top of it; the same goes for when he knocks over a trash can near the tee on hole two.

Just pick up the trash can and keep moving. Wait. Better yet, let him pick up the trash can. And his tendency to flick patches of dirt? No problem. He is a sensory kid, that’s fine with me.

Following our cat-and-mouse game in his All-Star Sports class, I read these words by Ralph Marston, author of The Daily Motivator To Go, on his website The Daily Motivator:

“In ways large and small, life can often be disappointing. Yet in every case, you don’t have to let disappointing events keep you discouraged.”

So that was my goal: to not let disappointing events keep me discouraged–the knocked down a trash can–by mentally bypassing the multitude of things that can go wrong.

Focus on your own personal, all-important vision: My personal, all-important vision is to building a father-son relationship. Golfing, and any obstacles we may encounter, are secondary to this main objective.

Underestimate your obstacles.

Keep pushing forward.

Don’t give up.

Don’t let anything stand between you and your vision.

These are more of Moss’s advice to entrepreneurs, and but they are also great principles for fathers on how to build a relationship with their son. Keep pushing forward, don’t give up. 

Underestimate your obstacles. Don’t let anything stand between you and your vision.

Sure, I cared about the golfing a tiny bit, showing D how to hold his club with his fingers interlocked. Nothing I really expected him to do–but I wanted to pass on what I’ve learned about golf.

I was surprised later when looking at pictures I’d taken that his grip was exactly how I showed him.

In bypassing the multitude of things that might go wrong, and practicing the learned trait of optimism, I had failed to notice the many things that could go right: his club grip, bent knees, focused concentration, etc.

His stance and concentration looked like a future professional golfer on the PGA tour.

What surprised me is the pictures of D were so different than the ones in my head. The majority showed he was focused on golfing, and not a kid craving sensory input.

Furthermore, we achieved my defined vision of being here to have fun and complete the course–not worrying about making par, a bogey or a hole-in-one, as I normally care about.

We hit a few clean shots off the tee and sliced many others, and there was too much difference between his short game and putting than mine.

But, most importantly, D and I accomplished my personal, all-important vision: not allowing anything to hinder our all-important vision which is to build a father-son relationship.

sand pile

  • Twitter
  • del.icio.us
  • Digg
  • Facebook
  • Technorati
  • Reddit
  • Yahoo Buzz
  • StumbleUpon

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.